It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

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A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

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i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

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Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

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Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all

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Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

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A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

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At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

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The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

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Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

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God made butter god made cheese god made you for me to squeeze god made whiskey god made pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!

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This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

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Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!

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I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION

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Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?

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You're Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you're becoming more like me everyday!

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*NEWSFLASH* A woman was found dead in her home 2day! She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.the police suspect a cerial killer!

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5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!

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1000 words 1 cood say.1000 wishes 1 cood pray.1000 miles legs cood walk.1000 sounds a mouth cood talk.1000 times ill b true.1000 ways 2 say i luv u!

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I opened my purse and found it empty.i reached in 2 my pocket and found a few coins then i searched my heart and found u!dats wen i realised how rich i am

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1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u.1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u.1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv u. but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!

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I have a little angel flying around with a hammer, each person she hits get a little bit of my love...I hope she beats the hell out of you...!

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i asked God 4 a rose & he gave me a garden.i ask God 4 a drop of water & he gave me an ocean.i asked God 4 an angel &he gave me u!

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Why do birds fall from da sky everytime u walk by? why do stars fall from da sky? cause like me they want 2 b near u

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(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired ass (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

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I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!!

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ive lost my teddy bear.......do u want to sleep with me 2nite?

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Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!